Dear Rev. Myron,
I think I want to get a job, but I am also reluctant to do so. When I went for an interview I made an error that might keep me from being hired. I wonder if I am self-sabotaging.
Uncertain
Well of course you did! Your mind is split; what else could you do. You tried to act on both beliefs. You went for the job because you thought you should. You made sure you didn't get it because you didn't want it. Remember this from the Text, Chapter 2: Whenever there is fear, it is because you have not made up your mind. Your mind is therefore split, and your behavior inevitably becomes erratic.
You notice He says "inevitably." It is not your fault that your behavior is erratic (or that you project). As long as you are split in your thinking there is nothing else you can do. But it is your responsibility to change your mind. Not your fault, but your responsibility. Do you see the difference? Fault implies guilt; responsibility simply suggests correction.
And this: 10 Correcting at the behavioral level can shift the error from the first to the second type, but will not obliterate the fear.
This is very important. The temptation is to think you need to act differently but that is not really correction and will not work long term. Maybe not even short term. It is at the level of mind that the correction must be made.
Let me quote again.
T-2.VI.6. It is possible to reach a state in which you bring your mind under my guidance without conscious effort, but this implies a willingness that you have not developed as yet. 2 The Holy Spirit cannot ask more than you are willing to do. 3 The strength to do comes from your undivided decision. 4 There is no strain in doing God's Will as soon as you recognize that it is also your own. 5 The lesson here is quite simple, but particularly apt to be overlooked. 6 I will therefore repeat it, urging you to listen. 7 Only your mind can produce fear. 8 It does so whenever it is conflicted in what it wants, producing inevitable strain because wanting and doing are discordant. 9 This can be corrected only by accepting a unified goal.
Here Jesus is telling us that it is possible for us to reach a state in which our mind is no longer conflicted, but he is also telling us that he knows we cannot do this yet. So there is no reason to feel guilty about not being able to do it. He also is telling us that we will gain the strength to do this through our undivided decision. Think of this having one undivided goal. My goal is to awaken from the dream of separation. So whatever happens in my life I know what my goal is. I am in grief over the loss of my mother? What is my goal? Is it to get over the grief? No. It is to awaken. So I ask the Holy Spirit to look with me at my grief and to show me how He sees death. Nothing about the situation changes, but everything changes because I am single minded in my goal.
This can be an effective way for you to deal with your problems as well. The ego scares you with guilt talk and it tries to confuse the issue with the psychology of your behavior. It tries to make it seem complicated and therefore hard to correct, but really it is very simple. Give yourself a single goal. Then ask the Holy Spirit to help you see the situation in light of your goal. Ask Him to correct your thinking accordingly.
If you have a single goal such as mine, you will know that the goal is not to get a job or avoid a job; but rather it is to use this situation to help you wake up. Then the answer (get the job or don't get the job) won't matter to you because neither is your goal. In that moment you are truly open to Spirit's guidance. If you feel anxiety reading this part it is because you still have a goal in mind and don't want to give it up. Just notice this and ask for help with that. Everything we do is another opportunity to choose again.
Rev Myron Jones, Pathways of Light minister facilitates ACIM and Ministerial courses. She also performs weddings and other transitional services. www.forgivenessisthewayhome.org
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